INAPPROPRIATE?
Okay, so I debated about whether or not I should post this but I think it is so dang funny. Don said that I might not want to post it because then it will be printed in a book later. But, I decided some of you would enjoy it....so it is worth it. (I got this from Libbie, so thank you for the good laughs Lib)
IF YOU ARE OFFENDED EASILY DO NOT READ THE REST OF THIS POST
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long robe.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.Shave armpits and legs.Rinse off.Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.Pee.Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. Have a great day..... and woo woo!!!
8 comments:
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!! Ha! It made me laugh, so thanks for posting. :)
I am rolling with laughter. I thought only my hubby did some of those things. The long robe is a must and mirrors are not! It was so fun to see you on Saturday. Lunch and a movie anytime!
The reason this is so funny is because it is SO TRUE!
I got this on an email a while ago, but it still made me laugh out loud when reading it on your blog!
Thanks for your receipe on your blog. I'll will title it as a "Crazy Day Snack."
I haven't laughed out loud in a long time! Thank you!
I was basically crying laughing over this one. And I just had to pass it on! Inappropriate! Thats my middle name!
Glad you didn't listen to Don and decided to post this! I'm still wiping away tears of laughter! I can't wait to make Joel read this!
Tara,
This is hilarious!!! What a good laugh. How are you guys?
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